The Day Protocol Died a Violent and Painful Death
by Quadrantje
Summary: On the good ship Voyager, Protocol is under attack, desperately trying to fend off multiple attackers. Of course, it won't succeed. JC and PT.


**Disclaimer: characters aren't mine and no infringement of copyright intended. Yada yada yada.  
A/N: written for VAMB's ficlet exchange, first line by the wonderful sunsetleaf.  
Lots of thanks and a big hug to Singing Violin and Kate04 for the terrific beta job and to Sira and Shayenne for organizing this delightful event!**

**The Day Protocol Died a Violent and Painful Death**

The room was dark as he walked into the mess hall and saw her sat at one of the tables. He grimaced as he noticed the scowl on her face and silently thanked his lucky stars she was facing away from him. There wasn't much that could make his day any worse than it already was, but getting one of his bones broken, courtesy of the chief engineer, was very likely to qualify. Tiptoeing around the room while still keeping a disgruntled air, like a cloak, about him wasn't easy, but he managed it, mostly out of fear of his boss.

He had almost reached the galley when she suddenly spoke. He froze. What had she said? He knew she'd sounded accusing, but the actual words wouldn't penetrate his petrified mind.

'What were you thinking?' her angry snarl erupted again from behind him; apparently, she wasn't happy with the long silence. This time, he actually cowered. Gathering together all his courage – and the knowledge that she wouldn't hesitate to attack just because he had his back towards her – he slowly started to turn around. And then he heard another voice: a male voice, talking slowly and soothingly. He took a peek. Yes, it was Lieutenant Paris. And - he flinched as he saw it - the lieutenant had his hands in front of him in a placating manner. Didn't he know the chief hated that?

_Bang!_ He ducked behind the counter just in time to hear something shatter spectacularly against a wall. For a moment, he tried to calculate with morbid fascination what sort of object would make that kind of noise. The sound of Torres' loud shouts as she accused Paris of all sorts of things brought his thoughts back to his current predicament. His midnight snack was certainly out, not only because they would notice him and the chief would probably skin him alive, but also because being terrified obviously did wonders for his appetite. Or lack thereof.

So that left him with two options: try to get out undetected, or wait and witness their fight. Suddenly, the dispassionate voice of his co-worker Vorik flooded through his mind, calmly calculating his odds of getting out of the situation unscathed if he chose the first option. Noting the amount of zeroes in that percentage, he blanched and decided to wait it out. Trying to get a bit more comfortable behind the counter, he settled down to enjoy the show.

Right now, Lieutenant Torres was yelling something about Paris' schemes and sticking his nose where it didn't belong. _True_, he thought, silently siding with his boss on this one. Her next statement, that Paris' plotting could hurt people, was something he couldn't very well argue against either, considering that nasty incident about a year ago that had persuaded Lissa to stop talking to him for a week. He didn't really hear Paris' response. Whatever he said did not seem to be gaining him any favours from Torres though, as her answer involved another projectile. This one crashed against the counter, causing glass-like shards, along with some sort of powder, to rain down on his head. Trying desperately not to cough, he completely lost track of the conversation as it turned into an all-out shout fest with both insults and objects flying across the room.

Finally, after long, agonizing moments of struggling against his cough reflexes – a fight for his life, he was sure – he reclaimed the control over his body and was again able to listen to what was happening. He heard nothing; there was complete silence. Rising up slowly, ready to drop to the deck at the first sign of trouble, he took a quick look over the top of the counter. His jaw dropped. They were kissing! Were they completely _nuts?_

As he continued to stare at them, slack-jawed, their passion escalated even faster than their anger had earlier. Before he knew it, he was looking at something he definitely did not want to witness. _Eww! _Convinced that they wouldn't notice him in their current state of… _preoccupation_, he quickly rushed to the door and made it out of the mess hall just before a certain pair of panties hit the floor.

Strolling though the corridors a few minutes later, his eyes screwed shut, he desperately tried to get the images of his boss' activities out of his head. Considering what had happened before he'd gone to the mess hall, the fact that what he had just witnessed _inspired_ him was only increasing his earlier gloom. How could they overcome their obstacles when he and Lissa… No, better not dwell on that.

Deciding that a drink and maybe a spot of pool was the best way to get his mind off his troubles, he asked the computer about the holodecks. When he heard that Sandrine's was already running on holodeck one, he quickened his step to the turbolifts, feeling slightly better.

Upon entering Sandrine's about ten minutes later, he hesitated as he noticed the captain at the pool table. Perhaps pool hadn't been such a good idea, he thought. Losing spectacularly wouldn't exactly heighten his spirits. Just a drink then. Turning to the bar, he noticed the suspicious emptiness. He checked the room: yes, completely empty, not even a hologram; just the captain and commander. He got an ugly sense of foreboding in his stomach.

Slowly and tentatively, he glanced back at the pool table. They didn't seem to have noticed him yet and it was now the commander's turn. As he watched, he saw the captain advance on the commander from behind, just as he was bending down to take his shot, and, provocatively, run her hands down his back. The commander yelped and missed. In a lightening-fast move, he turned around and encased the captain in his arms. She grinned wickedly and reached up to kiss him.

Completely horrified, the ensign turned and bolted before the incident in the mess hall could repeat itself. A few meters from the holodeck doors, right around the corner, he collapsed against the wall, trying desperately to get his breathing back under control. A few minutes elapsed as he struggled to regain control, his mind going over recent events.

_How come they were happy when he couldn't be?_ his mind screamed at him. _How could they indulge in a relationship when there continued to be this barrier between him and Lissa? How could they ignore protocol and…_

Suddenly it hit him. If they could ignore protocol, so could he! His face lit up. After a few seconds of contemplation, he pushed himself away from the wall and started walking, a new determination on his face. His strides grew longer and his pace faster as he neared the turbolifts. He had to find Lissa, and tell her he'd changed his mind. And… and kiss her. Kiss her until they couldn't breathe.

**-xxx-**

Back on the holodeck, Kathryn leaned back against the pool table and moaned softly as Chakotay kissed his way down her neck.

'Chakotay?' she managed to gasp out.

'Hmm?' he grunted in answer as he continued nuzzling her neck.

'Do you think they'll get the message?'

Reluctantly, he pulled away from her white flesh, letting his lips hover just an inch above it. 'What message? That Tom's matchmaking attempt today worked after all and we only pretended it backfired?'

'No,' she answered, shivering at the sensation of his warm breath against her throat, 'that the fraternization rules have changed.'

'Oh that,' Chakotay said casually, 'if they didn't, we can always repeat this somewhere else. Say, the bridge, tomorrow morning.'

Her low chuckle quickly morphed into another moan as he continued his assault.

_**Fine**_


End file.
